BRACE YOURSELF - PART III

Thursday, May 11th

Imagine you wake up. Like any other day you do all the routine stuff you usually do in the morning. You brush your teeth, shave, take a shower n then get ready. You grab a bite and your all set to leave. You drive your car outta your building, head strait n then you make a right which heads into the busiest part of town. At first it doesn't seem all that strange. But then you start to look around. There's not a single person in sight. It's half 9, its usually thriving with people and bustling with cars. Except your the only person in the only car on the road. You feel strange so you drive a little further with anticipation. You drive a little more than further and the anticipation turns into anxiety. Anxious you stop the car in the middle of the road, get out and take a 360-degree turn. All you can see is emptiness, which fills you up like how water would the Grand Canyon. What's usually filled with a million people is now only you and you alone. You start to freak out. You start running down the middle of the road looking for signs of life. You run and then you run some more, till your muscles burn and your heart feels like its going to explode through your chest. And then you stop running coz the adrenalin rush has failed to realign your perception. You outstretch your arms, look up into the unknown and shout out loud. You’re waiting for it to hit you.

Abre Los Ojos.

I think about David Aames's dream in Vanilla Sky. My sound dock wakes me up to the same track that's playing in his dream sequence in the opening scene of the movie. The room that is a whirlpool is my head. With just over 6 hours of sleep in 2 days, you automatically get the volume turned down.

It's sardonic, when on a day like today, a person with a regular 8 hours of sleep would still feel tired after the work I was given to do. I felt like I was breathing smoke. As long as my heart kept thrusting blood to my brain, my body still functioned. After 6 liters of water, 3 cups of black coffee and a couple of whizz breaks to relieve some of the intoxication, I brawl through the first 8 hours of the day to get my work done on time. I smoke the first cigarette I take pleasure in at 4, n with a cup of coffee in my hand I stare outside my 4th floor window lost in oblivion.

When my phone rings and I see its Btax, I have my speech all ready about the importance of revitalization. When he tells me we're taking a break today. I breathe a sigh of relief. Tomorrow night is Btax's birthday and its a night I know we're going to remember.

We catch a movie in the evening; Btax and Sailor drop me home. I get into bed at about 11. For the first time in a while, I'm almost instantly asleep.