New Year Resolutions. How many of us actually keep up to them? Well i for one took a resolution that id quit smoking. I remember the first time I held a cigarette in my hand. I was about 16 years old. I proudly put it in my mouth and inhaled hard ( in my mouth of course). I felt like I was in a movie. It was not until later that night a friend of mine showed me what it was like to inhale the smoke. I guess my life changed after that. A little light headed from then on, it occured to me that these sticks of tobacco and nicotine served quite the purpose of dependency. In the years to come, I never thought about quitting. Especially when your finishing up with school and then your in college. It just became a part of your life and day to day routine. With absolutely no track of many I smoked. Years went by and I somehow finally decided to give myself a break from it. After 6 and a half years of being addicted to nicotine I decided to quit.
Quit the smokes I enjoyed every morning with my cup of coffe. Or on the weekends with beer. With friends or with colleagues. After a good meal, or when its cold. When the rains comin down hard or your on a long drive. Or just a smoke by itself. The smokes that ended up smoking me.
I came to the conclusion, that either i control a cigaretee. Or a cigarette controls me. Considering I hadnt become an avid smoker with people smoking for years on end. I was still addicted and went through all the withdrawal symptoms. Which is actually quite funny when I come to think about it. Smoking is actually a universally accepted drug. Being addicted to something and feeling the effects of not being able to consume it, is really not quite something you expereince in your day to day life.
The first days are hard. You just wanna say f*** it, I still have a long way to go, whats the point of quitting now? I might as well later. But then you loose the point of it all. It suddenly becomes a challenge. I actually wanted to wait it out and see what the effects of withdrawal symptoms could be like. Stange? But true.
The biggest of them all? Irritability. I use to think of myself as a person with a reasonable amount of patience. Well if your a smoker quitting smoking, your short tempered. Drop of a hat i could just feel my blood boil for things quite trivial. People I could never get upset with, I did.
Its tough. But it subsides I guess. You cant stay irritated all your life.
Hunger. I discovered a new found appetite I never had before. I just couldnt stop eating for the first week or so. But that passes as well, once you realize your pants are getting a little tighter.
Insomnia. I guess Im still combatting it. First couple of weeks I found myself waking up 3-4 times a night. It takes a while to sleep. But if you do something really exhausting during the day, it helps.
Its difficult when you wake up every morning with a cold and a dripping nose. I remember smoking a cigarette on the way to work and the next thing I know my cold dissappears. But after you feel the effects of being a little healthier, a little temporary cold is not to bad.
Ofcourse then theres the headaches. Which will hit you at the most random of times when you least expect it. Your wondering what you did for it? No stress your all chilled out watching the tube and suddenly you feel an ache in your head coming along. Take an asprin ;)
Its not hard to quit smoking. If you can survive the first couple of weeks, trust me you dont have a problem. Temptation. You gotta be able to handle that. Your in a club where you know ure going to have a couple of drinks. Drinks your used to having with smokes. Its wierd. Its frustrating. But its not something you can get used to. Have a couple more than usual but remember you still dont smoke. Not even for that one night.
Where do I want to end up with this. I guess a certain stage where i can start after a significant period of time knowing that I can quit whenever I want to.
That its all upto me. Not those nicotine sticks. A stage where I meet up with good ol buddies after a long while and smoke a cigg with them for old times, knowing fully well when I wake up the next day Im not addicted to nicotine. Social smoking is'nt a bad thing. I guess there are 2 ways to look at it. Your a social smoker because your out with friends. Everyone's doing it so you decide, heck, why not? I'd lik
e to beleive I could be a veteran social smoker. Enjoy a cigg when you reach a highlight in the night. A night you feel you dont come across ever to often and you say" hey it deserves a smoke"?! Who better to enjoy it with, than some real close buds? Well if your the kind to have those nights every weekend, Im sorry I dont have a solution to that you might as well smoke like a smoker.At this stage I dont have those nights too often so i guess id like to savour it whilst i can.
Ultimately for me, either you smoke properly. Or you dont smoke. Or you smoke once in 2-3 months(if your capable).
I smoke whenever Im in a differnt city than home. Which doesnt happen to often. Maybe 2-3 times a year. Outskirts and close driveable distances dont count ;)
Bottom line. You know what it feels like. You know what its like to be addicted. You know whats it like to be not.
Weigh the damn thing out and I guess you'll come to a logical conclusion.
Whichever way you chose to do it, make sure you enjoy it and dont regret it ~
