Granted....

I was watching the VMA's (Video Music Awards) the other day where Madonna was on stage paying tribute to Michael Jackson. One of the things she said that I hold good in my life today is the fact that we never really realize or know the value of someone or something good until it's gone. MJ's a standing example of it. I mean we all knew what a great performer he was and what a revelation he was to the music industry but it definitely seems to me that his true worth was only realized after his death. The number of tributes on You Tube and the number of people talking you can't escape the fact that he was one of a kind, a prodigy and an entertainer that I'll never see anyone come close to in my lifetime. I'm confident enough to say never without a probably before it.

I just wanted to harp on about the fact that there are so many things in our lives that we take for granted. Our families our girlfriends our jobs, to a certain extent that only once we loose one of them do we realize that the shit's hit the fan and it's time to wake up and see the world a little differently and value these things a little more. I'm not proud to say that I take a lot of things for granted and now when I come to think of it I'm a little afraid to think about what my life would be like if I didn't have them. Aren't we all I guess? I'll probably pen this and try to be a little more wary but will sort of inevitably turn back to being most of my former self because human nature seems to want to play a part in it.

But I for one only hope that in spite of being aware of all this we reach a stage that when we loose something we only wish our levels of regret are low. And that the wish we hadn't's are outweighed by the I'm glads.

Life is short we all seem to say... but do we honestly know how short? You can live your whole life and probably realize at the end that you wish you'd slow'd it down a little or maybe the opposite? Who knows... to each their own I guess.

But a good mix is what I'd like, after all... the sweet don't taste so sweet without the bitter.

Full Circle

I've been sick for the last couple of days. Well I sorta had something coming on and then one night of debauchery made it even worse and now I'm suffering the after effects of it. It's not something I'm particularly proud off considering I fell sick less than a month ago. I started thinking that all those times I decided to smoke that extra joint or have that extra drink or just smoke cigarettes in a row coz I could is and probably has started to catch up with me. You never really think about the consequences of these things. I guess if you did everyone who smoked and drank in excess would know their limits. I for one have never really known my limits. I've always been one to stretch them pushing boundaries and being rebellious coz it seemed to give me a certain sense of freedom. But I guess where I was drastically wrong was that freedom comes with a certain sense of responsibility that I have failed to possess and I'm not sure whether I will simply because I have failed to acknowledge it all these years.

I've come to the conclusion that I'm quitting alcohol and drugs for the next couple of months with the hope of keeping a clean head and focus on my efforts to get into a respectable business school. Efforts which didn't count enough last year and will hopefully pave the way for a platform of mistakes to learn from. Most of the people I know in my age group are all already so dynamic and doing great things with their life. I can't really say I've done anything significant these past couple of years but maintain a sedentary job that I feel any graduate could have handled. Nevertheless an experience is what it was and there are definitely things that I have come to learn.

I stated in my last post that I would make a serious effort to blog more often and I hope that with these changes that I'm incorporating in my life I manage to do it.

Be the change you want to see.....